Alphabet Soup for the Hellsing Soul
by VampireQueenAkasha
Summary: More alphabet nonsense. For Hellsing fans! This was a source of inspiration from another writer on this sight. His name is in this fic.


**Alphabet Soup for the Hellsing Soul**

**Disclaimer:** And yet, my alphabet soup fics strike again. Here is another Hellsing one, featuring all Vatican members. Not many, but still just as good! And I owe it to Hyr'Ayl for inspiring me! So, VampireQueenAkasha presents (Despite the evangelical Vatican), another Alphabet induced fic!

**By: VampireQueenAkasha**

_"The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born." _

-Elayne Boosler

_"It was the basilica of gossip, the Vatican of inside dope." _

-Robert Hughes

_P.S. Brought to you by _

_Anderson Sword Company._

_"It's always a good decision". _

**A-**Integra: (Smokes a cigar and reads the newspaper. She glances up). "A? A is for Alucard. My servant".

**B-**Walter: "B is for Ballistics." (Behind him, there are hundreds of Ballistics and he smiles). "All used wisely, of course".

**C-**Seras: (She is lying in her coffin, arm hanging out. She waves at us). "Hmmm, just give me five more minutes okay? ... "

**D**-Pip: "D. D is for Disturbed". (Pull back to show him with headphones on and standing in the bathroom). "Alright!"

**E**-Richard Hellsing: (He is creeping through the library with a scowl on his face). "E is for Everything is mine and should be mine!" (Walter pokes his head up from the other side, curious). "Forgive me, but shouldn't you be dead?" (Richard looks annoyed).

**F-**Maxwell: "F is for Flames of God!" (He is standing dramatically and Jan is in the background, waving. He holds up a sign saying, "This guy has got to be a virgin").

**G-**Anderson: "G is for God In Heaven!" (He clangs his blades together with a smirk). "And for the Gore of the heretics!"

**H**-Sir Penwood: (He is sitting at his desk, scratching his head frantically). "H? H is for ... um ... Horrible." (He sighs, deflated). "Sorry, I'm horrid at these things." (Seras calls from a distance). "You got that right!"

**I-**Alucard: "I is for Infinity!" (He reaches over to take a drink of his wine and smiles). "Such silly nonsense." (In the background, Jan is holding up another sign that reads "Hi, Mom!").

**J-**Walter: "J is for ... " (He pauses and taps his chin thoughtfully). "Hm, I don't recall any word ... " (Jan once more, calling from the background). "Jackass!"

**K-**Seras: "K is for Kryptonite!" (She pauses and glances off to the side, curious). "That is what it's for, right? Like, vampire Kryptonite is silver?"

**L**-Maxwell: "L is for Lacerations!" (He gestures to a photo of Jesus being whipped. Jan is in the back, looking very bored and disgusted).

**M-**Integra: "M is for Millenium." (She is looking down at a flag design of the Millenium Symbol). "And unholy it is."

**N-**Alucard: "N is for No Life King!" (He gestures to his coffin and Seras pokes her head up happily from behind it). "Hi Master!" (He sighs, rolling his eyes).

**O-**Pip: "O is for Oregano." (He stands behind a pot of simmering chili and smiles). "Gotta love the spice." (Integra is standing next to him with a scowl on her face). "What does that have to do with Hellsing?" (Pip offers her a spoon). "I dunno, want some?" (Integra sighs and covers her face with one hand).

**P-**Seras: "P is for Persecute!" (She is wailing and being chased by hundreds of vampire ghouls). "Ahh, make 'em stop!"

**Q-**Sir Penwood: "I don't know these things!" (He holds his head and thumps it on the desk).

**R-**Walter: "R is for Radioactive." (An explosion sounds off behind him and he barely flinches). "And it seems Pip found its fleeting side ... "

**S**-Anderson: "S is for Servitude!" (Behind him stand hundreds of Iscariot soldiers). "All of you, march!" (Jan is among one, wearing a silly outfit and goose stepping).

**T**-Integra: "T is for Troublemaker. (Pan to show her holding Pip and Seras in both her hands). "Which is what the two of you are!"

**U-**Pip: (Scratches his head). "Hello? Uranium, duh!" (He gestures to a massive bomb and smiles). "It's what makes the world go boom, baby!" (Integra snatches the remote from him and shakes her head with disdain). "No."

**V-**Alucard: "V is for Vendetta ... " (He sighs and chuckles at the thought).

**W**-Maxwell: (He is sitting behind a door and scowls). "I am busy, go away!"

**X-**Pip: (Rolls by in a tank) "X is a useless letter, but I like it anyway!"

**Y-**Richard Hellsing: "Y?" (Smiles, dramatic). "Because it is mine and should be mine!" (Integra stands there, annoyance on her features). "You are no longer here, Richard, so keep quiet about it." (He groans angrily).

Several Hours later...

**Z-**Seras: (Sound asleep).

O

_Note_-Hm, was this one as good as the other? Not sure. But still, me like!


End file.
